Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she> >>slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she> >>was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''> >>When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated inthechair> >>behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !''> >>shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to> >>sleep.> >>> >>A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?''But> >>Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the> >>rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and theteacher> >>said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.> >>> >>Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam> >>after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed herwith> >>the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn> >>thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''> >>> >>> >>The Teacher fainted.




when a student listen to too much of music


When a student listen to too much music!Mr. Eric was walking around the form 3 block when he saw one of the form 3 class, 3'T', making noise. He entered the classroom and this is what happened....
Mr. Eric: Who was playing and talking please stand up or the whole class gets it.
Anand : "Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up"(Eminem)
Mr. Eric: You! I want you to come to my office now Office Time: 0900 hrs
Mr.Eric: What Is Your name?
Anand : "Say My Name Say My Name"(Destiny's Child)
Mr.Eric: Don't play a fool
Anand : "Can't Believe I'm The Fool Again"(Westlife)
Mr.Eric: Do you want me to beat you ?
Anand : "Hit Me Baby One More Time"(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: What did u say?
Anand : "WHAT!"(Stone Cold)
Mr.Eric: Are you out of your head?
Anand : "I Can't Get U Outta My Head"(Kylie Minogue)
Mr.Eric: Who do you think you are ?
Anand : "I'm A Genie In Bottle"(Christina Aguilera)
Mr.Eric: How many demerits do you want?
Anand : "1,2,345,Everybody In The Car..."(Lou Bega)
Mr.Eric: Do you always play in class?
Anand : "Sometimes I Run, Sometimes I..."(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: Do u think this is a party ?
Anand : "I'm Coming Up So U Better Get The Party Started"(Pink)
Mr.Eric: I want you to come for detention class tomorrow morning
Anand : "Every Morning They're A Hello..."(Sugar Ray)
Mr.Eric: I've just changed my mind. I want you to come everyday
Aanad : "Everyday I Love You"(Boyzone)
Mr.Eric: I want you to come alone
Anand : "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely"(Backstreet Boys)
Mr.Eric: It gonna be the two of us
Anand : "Just The Two Of Us"(Will Smith)
Mr.Eric: Are you going to shut up or do you want me to stop talking
Anand : "You Say It Best, When You Say Nothing At All"(Ronan Keating)
Mr.Eric: I want you to promise me that you won't get into anymore trouble.
Anand : "This I Promise You"(N*sync)
Mr.Eric: Make Sure you don't get into trouble again
Anand : "Oops I Did It Again"(Britney Spears)
Mr.Eric: You can go now
Anand : "There She Goes"(Sixpence None The Richer)
Mr.Eric: I said go!
Anand : "Bye Bye Bye"(N*sync)


top 20 reasons y singapreans aren't havin sex

TalkingCock quizzes Singaporeans on why they’re not having sex or children:

1. Gahmen told me last time to stop at 2, so I thought better be kiasu and stop at zero.
2. Sex is cheaper overseas, like in Batam or Hat Yai, so I thought I’d have sex there instead.
3. I’m too scared that I’ll accidentally call out my maid’s name during sex.
4. I am having sex. It’s just that it’s all oral at the moment.
5. Romancing Singapore campaign is too subtle. We need a Let’s Shag, Singapore! Campaign.
6. If I have kids, that means I’ll have to start watching weird shit on TV like Teletubbies or Barney, and I’d rather die.
7. I do’wan to mess up my hair. Do you know how much hairdressing costs nowadays?
8. If I have chewren, wait they take all my Hello Kitty dolls, then how?
9. I can’t do it with my parents in the next room, I don’t have a car, and I can’t afford hotel rooms.
10. Are you kidding? I do’wan to have the same kind of fucked-up children like my parents did.
11. During NS, my sergeant told me to fuck off, so being the obedient type, I’m now completely off fucking.
12. If Ministers want us to have kids, give us some of their salary and maybe I can afford it.
13. Wah lau, I everyday kena screw at work, you want me to go home and screw some more?
14. Which sadist would bring a child into this world to go through our education system?15. Too scared. During horror movies, the ones who always kena killed first by the psycho serial killer are the ones having sex.
16. During sexuality education in school, they kept teaching us to abstain from sex. I guess I’m just a very good student.
17. I’m just too shacked out from masturbating to Internet porn.
18. How do you know Singaporeans aren’t having enough sex? It’s just being exported. Singapore women only want to have sex with foreigners so they can cabut the country, while Singapore men are having sex in foreign countries like China, Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam, etc.
19. I won’t believe the Gahmen seriously wants me to have sex until MediaCorp starts producing porn. (Note: please, not starring Moses Lim or Lydia Sum.)
20. Every time I have sex, I recall that the Gahmen wants me to have sex, and frankly, thinking of the Gahmen when having sex totally kills my mood